A Mistake
by LEAJPEHP
Summary: Lily makes quite literally the biggest mistake of her life.
1. Chapter 1

"I cheated on you."  
The words weren't supposed to fall from her lips at all, and instead they crashed to the ground and blew up like a bomb.  
He looked up at her from where he was breading chicken cutlets.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Last night. When I went out. I let some bloke at the pub feel me up. I snogged him too."  
He was quiet. He kept cooking. Every time she tried to speak, he shook his head. He finished cooking, put only enough for him on a plate, and put the rest in the fridge, ignoring her. Not that she would have been able to eat anyway, with the way her stomach was in knots.  
He ate slowly and she watched. He cleaned his plate and then sat down at the table with her.  
"Why did you cheat on me?" he asked.  
"Because I'm bloody fucking dumb, I reckon," she said shamefully.  
"What's the real reason?" His voice was dangerously quiet.  
She stared at a knot in the wood on the table and said, "You've been distant."  
"I've been busy," he countered.  
"You haven't touched me in four months."  
He stood from the table suddenly, enraged that she had the audacity to blame this on him, and roared, "So you went and found someone else?!"  
She nodded her head, "I hated it as soon as it happened."  
He threw his hands in the air, "Because that's supposed to make me feel better?"  
She shook her head.  
"Why? Why would you do this?"  
"I told you, you were distant, and I missed you and you never touched me, and I felt like you didn't love me!"  
He stopped. Then he was angry again and shouted, "So you come to me! If that's how you truly feel, you come to _me! _You don't go to some random bloke in some random bar for some random action!"  
"I tried! You ignored me!"  
"When was this?" He asked indignantly.  
He was surprised when she actually had an answer. He felt stupid for not recognizing it. He was still angry.  
He didn't answer her, but went upstairs.  
She followed quickly after.  
He was pulling a blanket out of the chest and grabbing his pillow.  
"What are you doing?" she questioned.  
"I'm sleeping on the couch," he informed her.  
"No you're not!"  
"I'm certainly not sleeping with you tonight."  
"Then let me sleep on the couch."  
His voice softened, "No, I know how much you hate the couch."  
"Then I deserve it, don't I?"  
He thought for a moment, then handed her the blanket as he answered, "Yeah, I suppose you do."  
She took her own pillow and looked over her shoulder at him as he got into their bed.  
"What?" he snapped.  
"I'm sorry," she murmured.  
"I should hope so," he grumbled, turning out the light and leaving her in the darkness.

She felt a hand on her shoulder in the middle of the night. She sat upright and looked through the darkness and saw him.  
He sat on the sofa by her feet and turned on a lamp.  
"Let's talk," he said.  
She drew her feet under her and pulled the blanket up to her chin.  
He continued, "I want to know everything that happened with that bloke."  
She nodded and he looked at her expectantly. She launched into the tale of how she had gone out with her friends and how they had pointed out the man that eventually put his hands up her shirt. She told him that he bought her a drink and she winked at him and he followed her to the dance floor and she didn't stop him. She said that when he came up behind her, she leaned into his touch.  
He interrupted, "What was his name?"  
"I don't know."  
"You don't know the name of the man that you almost threw our marriage away for?"  
"I didn't ask. I wanted to pretend he was you."  
He stopped talking and she started. She said that his hands went up her shirt and still, she didn't stop him. He turned her around to kiss her, and when his tongue went in her mouth, she finally stopped him.  
His question was simple, "Why did you stop him?"  
Her answer was obvious, "He wasn't you."  
"So you almost threw away our marriage for some guy who wasn't me, because you were mad at me, and then stopped because he wasn't me?"  
"It sounds dumb when you say it like that."  
"You sound dumb when you tell me you cheated on me."  
She looked at him.  
He apologized.  
"You keep saying almost," she pointed out. "Have I not thrown away our marriage?"  
"Jury's still out," he answered gravely.  
"I'm sorry."  
"I know."  
"Why haven't you touched me in months?"  
"I don't know."  
"Do I repulse you?"  
"Absolutely not."  
"Are you mad at me for something else?"  
"I don't think so."  
They were both quiet.  
"I think I'm depressed and burnt out," he admitted.  
"I'm a bloody idiot," she breathed.  
"Apart from cheating on me, how do you mean?"  
"I shouldn't have believed you every time you told me you were fine. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I should have sat down with you. I shouldn't have gone out. I shouldn't have," she trailed off.  
"Cheated on me?" he supplied.  
She glared at him, continuing, "I should have known all those nights at the Ministry were having more of an impact on you than you ever admitted to me. It's all so obvious now."  
"I shouldn't have lied to you," he conceded. "I should have listened when you told me you felt alone and rejected instead of just kissing you and going to bed."  
"I should have been a better wife."  
"I should have been a better husband."  
"I shouldn't have gone out."  
"I shouldn't have shut you out."  
"Can we get through this?"  
"Can you promise to talk to me, and then make me listen if I'm too thick to do it myself?"  
She almost smiled. "I think I can handle that."  
"Can I hold you?"  
"Please."

"I love you, Lily," he whispered in her ear.  
"I know James. I love you too."  
"Do you forgive me?"  
"As long as you forgive me."_  
_"Come back to bed with me?" he asked.  
"You're not still mad?"  
"I'm still sad, but you're the person I always want when I'm sad."  
Their talk continued into the night, revealing things they should have been sharing and hearing all along. James admitted how overworked he'd been and that was why he was so tired. It had nothing to do with Lily. Lily admitted that she'd been self-absorbed and didn't notice enough about her husband. James said it would be tough, but he would be able to get over this infidelity. Clearly it was eating away at her as she hadn't been able to go three hours without telling him. He promised they would make one night a week to talk about them and make sure they were okay. She promised she would never look for attention from someone else. Attention from anyone else would just feel awful.  
He kissed her cheek and rolled away from her to turn out the lamp.  
Her heart fluttered, and she let out a true sigh of relief.  
"What was that, love?" James asked.  
"Me realizing that you won't throw me out in the street for this."


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks later, Lily leaned against the doorframe of their living room, watching James watch TV.  
"Come to bed?" she asked softly.  
"Not yet," he answered.  
"Please?"  
He turned from the TV and said, "Not yet, Lily." Then he looked back to the show he was watching. This was the fifth night in a row that James hadn't come to bed with her. It was the second night she had asked him to, and the second night he had refused. She sighed and gathered her courage to approach him and sit on the couch next to him.  
"James?"  
He muted the TV and looked at her, "Yes?"  
"You told me that I should make you listen to me when you're being thick. You're being thick."  
"How do you mean?"  
"This is the fifth night in a row that you won't come to bed with me. I miss you. Did I do something wrong?"  
James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "No, you didn't do anything. I just don't want to go to sleep yet."  
"Please don't lie to me."  
"I'm not lying. I don't want to go to bed yet."  
"Why not?" she pressed.  
He was quiet for a moment, trying to think of how to say it. Then he answered, "I don't like the dreams I've been having."  
Lily softened, "Oh, James. I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"  
He shook his head, but wrapped an arm around Lily and pulled her closer to him. He asked, "Can I just hold you?"  
She nodded against his shoulder. She picked up the remote and unmuted the show. It was playing cartoons now. They watched in silence for about a half hour before James turned the TV off.  
"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, love," he apologized quietly.  
Lily whispered into his chest, "It's alright. I understand."  
"Do you want to go to bed now?"  
She nodded.

"I'll be up in a few minutes. I just want to get a glass of water."  
Lily didn't let go of him as she stood. He looked down at her and she said, "I love you."  
"I love you too. I'll be up in a few minutes. I promise." He kissed the top of her head before disentangling himself from her. He heard her step up the stairs lightly. True to his word, he went upstairs as soon as he finished his water. He walked into their bedroom and saw Lily sitting in bed, watching the door anxiously.  
He quickly changed into pajamas and crawled into bed with her. James couldn't deny it had been hard for him to get into bed with her every night, knowing she had let another man touch her. Had it been any more than what she admitted to, he probably wouldn't have been able to do it. He was grateful that her small lapse in judgement was all that had happened. He didn't want to lose her, and was glad he didn't have to. Every night since she confessed what had happened, he forced himself to go to bed with her. Sometimes it was after she was asleep, because it was easier. Sometimes it was before her, because it was easier. Sometimes it was with her, because he loved her, even though he hated what she did.

James admitted, his plan tonight had been to go to sleep after her and wake up before her. It wasn't a lie that he had told her before; he didn't like sleeping because he had nightmares. He was glad she told him he was being thick. It was nice to feel her affection, and when she sat on the couch with him instead of walking away, he almost understood what she had been lacking and why she would have accepted attention from someone else. Her touch was so comforting and he understood why if she had been seeking the same from him and didn't find it that she might resort to an extreme measure to obtain it. It didn't justify what she did, but it did explain what she did.

James stared at Lily, making her blush.  
"What?" she asked shyly.  
"I don't want to go to bed," James informed her.  
"That's fine. We can talk or read or something."  
"That's not what I had in mind."  
"Did you want to play a game?" Lily was confused now.  
"I want to touch you."  
"Really?" she nearly squeaked. She couldn't have hoped for anything better.  
"Can I?"  
"Please," she practically begged.

James was almost unsure of how to touch her. It really had been that long for them. Sure, they'd been closer in the last few weeks, but the most intimate they'd been was a three-minute snog in their kitchen the week before. James was drunk and Lily didn't stop him. Tonight, though, he was sober and substantially less courageous.

It ended up being okay because Lily took the lead. Sitting next to him on their bed she leaned in and kissed him sweetly. She placed a hand on his hip and supported herself on the bed with her other arm. James found himself incredibly hungry for her. He wrapped an arm around her and wound his hand in her hair. He forced her onto her back and pressed against her as he snogged her. He heard her whimper under him and began kissing her jawline, eliciting a deep moan. He bit at her neck roughly, causing her whimpering to resurface, which he found he liked. He grabbed at her breasts through her shirt, then pulled the shirt up and began pinching her nipples before taking one at a time into his mouth while his hands pushed down her pants. He shoved his fingers into her, finding that she was already wet.  
"You like when I'm rough?" he questioned, his voice practically growling.  
Lily nodded and James withdrew his fingers, smirking when she opened her eyes to figure out why he stopped touching her.  
"Speak up, flower."  
"Yes, I like when you're rough," she choked out.  
James resumed fingering her and continued fondling her breasts with his free hand. He used this opportunity to ask, "So tell me, where did you let this bloke touch you?"  
Lily knew he would stop touching her if she didn't answer, so she said, "My tits."  
"Anywhere else?" he questioned.  
"No," she whimpered.  
"He didn't touch your pussy?"  
"No."  
"Did you want him to?"  
"No."  
"Who's the only one who can?"  
"You."  
"Perfect."

James brought her to climax before demanding she roll over. He smacked her ass a few times for good measure, trying to ignore her wincing as he did so. He felt almost bad, but this was what he needed. This was the only way he was going to be able to get over this. He entered her suddenly and gripped her hips in his hands as he thrusted in and out of her. He relished in the sound of skin slapping against skin, found comfort in the moaning he heard from Lily. He felt reassured in the fact that he could still perform for her. He finished inside her and collapsed on top of her, his chest pressed to her back, both of them sticky with sweat.  
He didn't know what had come over him, but he snarled in her ear, "My cock is dirty. I suggest you clean it off." He rolled off of her and sat on the bed expectantly. When she placed her lips over his penis, he grabbed her by the hair and forced her head down. He stopped when he felt her gag a little bit. He kept his hand in her hair as she used her tongue to clean him off. He felt her swallow and lifted her up by the hair. As he let go of her hair he saw her face was red, he saw the marks he had left all over her neck and the imprints of his fingertips in the form of bruises on her hips. He watched Lily stand, and go look for her bathrobe. Then he cried.

Lily looked over her shoulder as she tied the robe and saw James in tears on their bed. She rushed back to his side, concerned.  
"Is something wrong, James?" she asked as she rubbed his back.  
"I'm so sorry, Lily," James sobbed. "I didn't mean to hurt you."  
"It's okay," she consoled as he buried his head where her neck met her shoulder. "You didn't hurt me love. You were a little rough, but you didn't hurt me. Everything's okay."  
Even after ten minutes, James couldn't stop crying. Lily pulled him up from the bed and guided him to the bathroom, where she started running the shower. He sniffled as he looked up at her from where he had collapsed on the floor, still completely naked.  
Lily kneeled next to him, wiping his face with a damp washcloth.  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
She softly explained, "When I was younger, my mum used to tell me that any problem can be solved by adding water. If I was throwing a tantrum, she made me take a shower. If it was overly hot out and we were getting angry, we went to the local pool. If we were sad, she boiled water for tea. I reckon you could use a shower."  
He started crying again, "Why are you being so nice to me?"  
"You're clearly upset, James. To do anything other than be kind would be counterproductive. Now, get in the shower. I'm going to make some tea, because I think that wouldn't hurt. Once you're all showered, get dressed, come downstairs and we can talk, okay?"  
He nodded, sheepishly, tears still rolling down his face.  
Lily kissed the side of his face before helping him stand and pushing him towards the shower.  
"I love you," she said through the curtain.  
As he said it back, he wondered how she could possibly love him after what he just did.


	3. Chapter 3

He sat at the bottom of the shower, finally done crying, but he still felt like a monster. It made him sick that Lily was downstairs making tea for him, after the way he had brutally fucked her. He turned off the water and climbed out of the shower seeing that Lily had been kind enough to leave him a towel, a fresh set of pajamas and his glasses on top of the pile of clothing. She really was better than he deserved. He dressed slowly, trying not to start crying again.

He walked into the kitchen to see Lily had just finished pouring the tea. He watched as she added the right amount of sugar to his, but no milk. She was always so wonderful like that. He sat at the table as she finished hers and levitated his cup to him. She sat at the table so that a corner was between them and she could reach out and hold his free hand.  
"Do you feel better?"  
He took a sip of tea and nodded before he thanked her for the drink.  
"You're welcome," she said sweetly. "What happened?"  
"I felt terrible for being so rough with you. I was angry about everything that had happened, and I took it out on you and that wasn't fair of me. Then I felt so awful for hurting you that I couldn't stop crying."  
"You didn't hurt me," Lily reminded him. "Look, I've already charmed the bites away."  
James swallowed the knot in his throat, still disgusted with himself.  
Lily tried again, "I understand why you felt that way."  
"Do you forgive me?"  
"Of course I do. Like I said, you didn't hurt me. I know if I had told you that you were hurting me, you would have stopped right?"  
"Yeah, I would have."  
"That's all that matters."  
"I guess I didn't process how angry I was with you until tonight."  
"Yeah. I thought it a bit odd that you hadn't shouted about it when it happened, or broken something back then. It was bound to come up sometime. Now, we're through it, right?"  
"I think so," James mumbled. "I didn't know I was capable of doing that to you."  
"It's okay."  
"It really isn't," he muttered. "I should never take my anger out on you, much less physically."  
"I should never have gone to someone else," she said, looking into his hazel eyes. "We both made mistakes. I know that I forgive you."  
"I forgive you too. Can I tell you something? Tonight, when I was upset on the couch, you came to me, instead of just leaving me alone. That comfort was very nice, and I could understand why you would go looking for it if I couldn't give it to you."  
She was quiet, and James continued, "When we went to bed, my intention wasn't to do that. It wasn't something I planned. I wanted to get you off and go to sleep. I didn't think at all that it would turn into this. When I started touching you, it made me think…" He trailed off.  
Lily spoke up, "I promise James, I don't think you're capable of intentionally doing anything malicious to me ever. I know I've always been your soft spot, and I was very grateful for that when I told you about what I did. If this was what needed to happen, then I trust that it needed to happen, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you never meant to hurt me."  
James finished his tea and cleared the cups when Lily was done.

He turned to face her where she was still sitting at the table.  
"I think I need to go for a run," he announced.  
"Love," she started. He winced at her sweet voice, still feeling undeserving. "It's the middle of the night."  
"I'm going to go as Prongs," he said.  
"Oh," she was surprised. He hadn't done this in a long time. She knew he only did it when he needed to think about things more simply. According to him and Sirius, animal thoughts were less complex and helped them mull things over. "If that's what you need to do. Can I ask three things of you?"  
He waited expectantly, and she continued, "Will you be back before I wake up?"  
He thought for a moment and then nodded, much to her delight.  
"Promise me that you'll be safe?" she asked.  
"Of course."  
"Can I watch you transform?"  
He seemed confused by her question and she elaborated, "I just always liked seeing Prongs. You're an exceptionally beautiful stag."  
He looked even more confused and she shrugged, but asked, "So can I?"  
"Yeah, that's fine. You know I like showing off for you." The end of his sentence was slightly playful and Lily felt herself smile at her husband. It was a very small step on the way back to things being normal for them. She followed him into the backyard and watched his body morph into that of a stag. She walked close to him and ran a hand along his flank. The stag looked back at her. She reminded him, "Back before I wake, and be safe."  
The stag nudged her hand affectionately before galloping into the night. That small little shove against her hand was another small step on their way back to being normal.

Lily watched and listened until she heard the hoofbeats dissipate before turning back to their cottage. She turned out the light before retiring to their bedroom. James had only made her sleep on the couch for a few nights before letting her back into bed. It was hard for her when he went to bed after her, and tonight was no exception. She bundled herself in the blankets, trying to pretend that James was there holding her to his chest. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she was a _literal grown woman_ who could _go to sleep without her husband_, sleep eluded her. She finally fell asleep somewhere about four thirty in the morning.

She woke a couple of hours later when James crawled into bed, muttering about her always stealing all the blankets. Eyes still closed she muttered, "It's not stealing if there's no one here to steal from."  
He let out a small chuckle and asked, "Might I have some of the covers Lily?"  
Lily opened her eyes and rolled over to face James, sighing dramatically, "I suppose. If you must."  
James grasped the comforter and gave a sharp tug. This also drew Lily close to him. He took a deep breath, trying to avoid remembering how he had aggressively touched her only a few hours before. Lily sensed this was what he was thinking about and pulled on of his hands to her lips, kissed it and whispered, "It's okay. Let's just go back to sleep."  
He was grateful that she would help put him back together.


	4. Chapter 4

They only slept for a few hours. Lily woke up, realizing James was tightly holding her to him. His arm was secured about her waist, ensuring she was pressed against the front of his body. She sighed in content; she was relieved that James wanted to sleep beside her again. She felt him stirring behind her and she whispered, "Good morning baby."  
She felt him take his hand off of her abdomen and brush her hair away from the back of her neck, before placing a few light kisses in the newly cleared area. She felt herself shudder involuntarily. She tried to suppress it, but James noticed.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. Lily could hear the shame in his voice.  
"Hm?" Lily pretended to not know what he was talking about.  
"It seems like you didn't exactly like that," he answered quietly.  
"No," Lily said. "It was just unexpected."  
James rolled away from her and got out of bed to go use the restroom. Lily had sat up to watch him go, but when he closed to door, she flopped back against James' pillow.  
She rolled onto her side when she heard the door open again. She patted the side of the bed that was usually hers and said, "Come back and lay with me, please?"  
She saw the hesitation flash across his face and he said, "I was going to go make breakfast for us."  
"That can wait," Lily insisted. "Please come back to bed for a few minutes."  
He seemed to be deliberating so Lily pressed, "I'm feeling cold without you."  
James conceded and crawled under the covers. Lily pulled him to rest his head on her chest and ran her fingers through his hair as she looked at the ceiling.  
"How was your run babe?" she asked, curiosity evident in her voice.  
"It was fine," James said quietly.  
"Figure anything out?"  
"Nothing that I didn't already know."  
"Like what?"  
"That I love you more than anything in the world," James answered simply.  
"I love you too."

"What do you want to do today, darling?" James asked, looking up at Lily.  
After she snorted at the pet name, her hand slowed in his hair. She was thinking. She finally answered, "I'm just happy to be with you."  
"Okay, but what do you want to _do_?" James asked.  
"I don't know."  
"Want to go to Diagon Alley? I saw your potion stores are running low. Maybe we could get you some new ingredients? I also know you're always up for some ice cream at Florean's. You know, there's that wedding for some family friend coming up that Mum's made it clear we'll be invited to. I think you could use a new neckl-"  
Lily cut him off, "I know what you're doing."  
"And what am I doing?" James asked nervously.  
"You're feeling badly about last night, and you're trying to make it up to me, even though you don't have to."  
He sighed, "You caught me."  
He sat up and settled himself between her legs so that he was facing her. She wouldn't quite meet his eyes and James could tell she was feeling embarrassed.  
She tried to joke, "You were about as subtle as a herd of elephants stampeding through here."  
"I'm sorry. I want you to know that it's not like I think you can be bought. I'm just trying to remind you that I do love you. These are the things I know I should have been doing all along."  
Lily looked at him, not completely convinced.  
"Fine. Maybe a little bit of it is guilt, but most of it is that I should do these things anyway. I realized last night that I stopped doing these things and I never should have. I used to pick things up for you while I was out, we used to go get ice cream just because. I used to surprise you with gifts. You _still_ do that for me and I can't believe I stopped."  
"You don't have to spoil me, James," Lily answered quietly. "I know you love me."  
"You deserve to be spoiled," he argued. "I pay attention to your potions stores because I know how talented you are and how many incredible draughts you can make and I want you to have supplies for them. I know you like ice cream, and so do I, and that's truly so simple and a given anytime we're around the shop. And I do want to get you a necklace, not because I feel bad- although I don't feel the greatest about last night- but because you deserve nice things, and I want to give them to you. I don't know when or why I stopped, but you should certainly let me start to again."

Lily leaned forward and grabbed James' face in her hands, and pulled him towards her. She kissed him softly and whispered, "I hate you," against his lips.  
He pulled away with a grin on his face and said, "So that's a yes? We can go out to Diagon Alley today?"  
"Only if you promise you won't buy me anything too expensive."  
James pretended to think about it as he pulled himself out of bed and walked to the bedroom door.  
"Not going to happen," he said quickly before rushing out of the doorframe to go to the kitchen and make breakfast.

The two of them got ready after breakfast. Lily changed in front of James and he had to force himself not to wince when he saw the small, light blue bruises he'd left on her hips the night before. He was relieved and grateful when her sweater covered the marks again. When she looked up at him she smiled softly and he approached her to apparate to Diagon Alley. They landed with a thud in front of Madame Malkin's.

They walked silently, James had his arm around Lily's waist until they arrived in front of the Apothecary. James looked at her and said, "Why don't you get what you need for your stores while I go shopping for a necklace for you. We'll meet at Fortescue's?"  
"Don't spend too much," Lily reminded him sternly. "Merlin knows I don't deserve it."  
"Hey," James said. "Don't say that please. You deserve the world. Also, not to sound too posh or anything, but even if I bought you the most expensive thing I could find, it wouldn't make even a ding in the vault."  
Lily shuffled her feet as money talk always made her uncomfortable. James had a lot of it, and she did not. She regularly had to remind herself that he couldn't control the amount of wealth he had inherited and that it was hers now, since she had taken his last name after all.  
His hand ran up to her shoulder as he faced her. She looked up at him and James said, "Hey, it was a joke. I'm sorry."  
Lily still looked uncomfortable and James tried again, "I promise I'll keep it reasonable."  
"Thank you," Lily said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Then, because she hadn't been to the vault in a bit she had to ask, "Could I have some money, please?"  
"What's mine is yours," James replied easily, handing her a small handful of galleons and sickles, which she hurriedly shoved into her purse. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and asked, "See you in a bit?"  
"See you in a bit," she confirmed.

When James arrived at Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor about forty minutes later, Lily had already ordered his favorite sundae for him, and had worked halfway through her own. He kissed the side of her head before sitting down opposite her. "Thank you, love," he noted, gesturing at the sundae in front of him. "Did you get everything you needed?"  
"And then some," Lily chuckled. She tried to slide what remained of the money James had given her across the table, but he shook his head, reminding her that what was his was also hers.  
Though she had not wanted James to spend money on her, curiosity got the better of her, and she asked, in what she hoped was a casual manner, "So, did you get me anything?"  
He nodded, swallowing a bite of ice cream, "Yeah, of course I did. I'll show you back at home, yeah?"  
Lily nodded agreeably and laughed softly as she felt one of James' feet reaching under the table to play with hers. "You're such a dork," she remarked.  
James was unbothered and simply grinned back, "You married a dork."  
"Oh bollocks!" Lily exclaimed. "You're right."


	5. Chapter 5

"I missed this," Lily admitted.  
"Hm?" James asked, his hand in the back pocket of Lily's jeans.  
"I missed just being with you. I missed you playing footsie with me under the table, feeling you near me when I was out. I suppose it all sounds a bit stupid and simple and like I overreacted when I say it all out loud like this, but it's true. I missed this, and it doesn't even close to excuse, justify or whatever word you want to use, I did."  
James mulled this over, trying to make the right response, "I told you last night that I kind of understand what you were lacking. You continued to give me love and affection, even when I didn't know I wanted it myself, and it made me feel nice. I can imagine that you must have felt pretty rejected if you wanted it, and I was too dense to give it to you."

"You're right," Lily said. "Rejected is exactly how I felt. I swear I will never ever let it get to that point again. I should have known from the beginning that I can always talk to you."  
"I let you think that you couldn't. I plan on making sure that that never happens again."  
"Can we go home?" Lily asked.  
"You want to know what your present is, don't you?" James asked, a knowing smile on his face as he looked ahead, observing two young kids run past them.  
"Maybe," Lily admitted.  
"Remember this morning when you insisted I get you nothing?" James teased.  
"Of course I remember. I'm stubborn, but if I know that you're just going to ignore me, who am I to deny you the pleasure that you seem to get from giving me gifts?"  
"That's the attitude," James chuckled, using the hand in her pocket to pull her slightly closer to him. "We'll go home in a bit. I just heard that they're playing some music down this way. We haven't gone dancing in a while."  
"I'm shit at dancing," Lily groaned.  
"Yeah, but I'm good at it, and I know that you like dancing with me."

"Yeah, I do like dancing with you," Lily said, defeated, but looking forward to dancing with James.

It was an upbeat rhythm and Lily found herself squealing with laughter as James spun her around with an excitement Lily hadn't seen from him in a while. Lily couldn't even say she had two left feet as that would be an insult to people who danced as though they had two left feet. She had absolutely no ability to feel a musical beat, not even if her life depended on it, and it was really quite upsetting, given how much she enjoyed music and how much James enjoyed dancing. However, she was able to get over her lack of talent to be able to engage in something that James liked so much. She didn't ever feel too embarrassed either, as James was talented enough that he could mask all of her terribly awkward missteps and steps that weren't even steps. The two of them slowed as the music faded out, the group of magical musicians concluding their performance.

Lily looked up at James, felt his arm around her waist, holding her to him as he held her hand with his free one. His eyes were twinkling, and it was clear how happy he was.  
"You can't possibly enjoy dragging me through this; it seems like so much work for you," Lily said.  
"Nothing feels like work when I get to do it with you," James replied, dropping her hand and using the arm around her waist to guide her back to where they had left her shopping bags from the Apothecary.

Lily apparated them home and James led them into the sitting room where they settled on the sofa and Lily eagerly watched as James pulled a small parcel out of his front pocket and handed it to her. She accepted it and unwrapped it quickly while James looked on awaiting her reaction.  
"Love! It is beautiful," Lily exclaimed. "Thank you James! I love it. Can you put it on for me please?"  
She turned her back to him and he draped the necklace with a doe charm around her neck and clasped it for her.  
"I love it James," Lily repeated.  
"I'm glad. You said I'm an exceptionally beautiful stag, and you're an exceptionally gorgeous doe. I know I could never convince you to become an Animagus."  
Lily interrupted, "And you're lucky I never made you get registered."  
James waved a hand and continued, "You're beautiful is my point, and I hope you like wearing that necklace and I hope you remember how much I love you any time you touch it."


End file.
